It’s been quite a few months since I last posted. I didn’t intend for my sabbatical to last this long. I needed time to sort through things and listen to God. He is my business partner and His guidance is ever-present in my life. I’m back now! Don’t ever feel embarrassed if you have to briefly (or permanently) step away from something (or someone). The temporary or permanent separation is good for your well-being. Now let’s dive into this weeks post.
Last week I was the receiver of many blessings in disguise. So much so I was overcome with emotions of fear, love, confusion, peace and joy. A roller coaster of emotions, huh? I know you’ve been there before. Asking yourself if what you’re experiencing is a gift, curse, warranted, unwarranted. Yes, me the Empowerment Coach, the Purpose Elevator had doubts and my “self-deprecating”, “selfish pride” tried rearing its ugly head to sabotage what was already mine.
When the blessings presented themselves I wanted to prove that I was in control and didn’t need what was presented to me. I was attempting to prove this in both the physical and spiritual realms. Ha, God knew what I was already capable of. He also knew I was in the midst of needing His divine intervention. I, however, wanted to control all of the situations I was encountering. I wasn’t synchronized with my business partner. The more I resisted the grace placed before me the more emotional I became. Throughout the childlike tantrum (tears streaming outwardly) I battled within me I felt my soul crying out from deep within to receive…”Ebony, be on the receiving end right now!”
When my throat became knotted and words of resistance could no longer spew out; I felt God’s voice envelope my throat and uncover the veil over my eyes. I looked up at the giver…and…witnessed…God’s love trying desperately to embrace me without malice or indignation. He wanted me to see the individuals heart, soul; not what was attached to them! I was looking at grace and love and beauty but was blinded by the attachment of the blessing/gift. I looked into their eyes and saw the eyes of God! He used the beauty before me to strip me of control and power but to build me up with an all-consuming power of His love. I didn’t need to prove anything. I needed to allow His vessel to be used for His glory. I needed this breakthrough in order to open up His hands to bless the vessel which came in the form of another beautiful human being; His child, His creation, His beautiful, refined work of art!
How many times have you rejected God’s gifts for you because you were attached to the attachment? You may have silently boasted that you don’t need help. Repeating to yourself that in time you will reap the benefits of your work. Let me tell you something…take off your mini god hat and surrender. You may have to remind yourself of this several times a day. I was embarrassed to engage in such mindless, negative talk between me and my blessings. However; I needed to experience this boxing match of emotions to release myself from strongholds of power, control, misleading attachments, and being a blessing blocker. I was able to see God at work in someone and something other than myself. It was a powerful and surreal experience.
Look at the deeper beauty one may be extending to you. You are meant to be loved. You are meant to receive and be a blessing to others. You are a miracle in motion! This week be good to you and your soul. If a tear wells up in your eye, its ok, let it fall and water the ground with the essence of the true beauty of your blessing.